Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
