You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
