I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Randomize