fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
