FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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