I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
