omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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