So drunk, too bad you don't want this
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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