Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
