I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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