I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
