Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Come see our sink grown plant.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
