Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
