So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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