I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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