I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
