In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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