I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Operation Purity has been aborted
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
