there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
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Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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