Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
