Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
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if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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