Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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