When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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