If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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