Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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