I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
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My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
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Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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