Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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