I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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