i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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