never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
