Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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