Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
