We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
