she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
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he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
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It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Randomize