Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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