I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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