is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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