We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
