therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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