i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
