Duck Duck Cougar?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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