Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
