Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
