ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
