i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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