i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
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