it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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