We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
