She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
