i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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