If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
