you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize