Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
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She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
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You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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