There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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