finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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