Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
