Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
