Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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